It's called jian bing. It's like a giant savory crepe.
You're welcome.
First comes the crepe batter. Made, uh, like a crepe.
Then comes an egg. Broken on top and scrambled all around. I've heard that you can ask for an additional egg if you have the appetite of a sumo wrestler or my brother Danny.Generous sprinkles of cilantro and some diced, slightly-crunchy, lightly-pickled thing (maybe cilantro stems in rice vinegar? maybe some kind of really finely minced water chestnut scenario? maybe some Chinese vegetable I've never heard of before?)
This is also when she asks me skeptically if I want spicy chili flakes. I say "dui" which means "yes," and she reluctantly puts like five chili flakes on there. Then I point at the container of chilis and say "zhè ge" (pronounced Juh-guh, with an aggressive accent on the first syllable), which means "that" and point at my bing and say "là" which means spicy. And then she shrugs and puts about a half teaspoon on my bing. Chinese people think lǎowàis (foreigners) don't like spicy food, and it's an uphill battle to convince them otherwise.
Then you can ask to add potatoes (in the shredded, frozen hash brown format). I told you, this is the best breakfast ever. It doesn't have bacon, but egg + potato + spicy + starch is a great way to chase a long night out. Adding potatoes costs an additional 1 quai. It's the singe best way I know of to spend $0.16.
Then she runs a spatula underneath to loosen the bing from the crepe wheel. There's enough simple starch in the batter that it gets a little bit lacy and crispy and lovely. It's more delicate and crackly than a french crepe, likely because I don't think there's any egg in the jing batter.
Once folded in half, she smears a Chinese barbecue sauce on it. It's somewhere between a black bean hoisin sauce and oyster sauce. It's delicious.
Then she adds a crisp wonton, does a speedy tri-fold (crunching up the wonton in the process), and makes a swift, stabby judo chop with the metal spatula to slice it into two pieces and slides your fresh, hot jian bing into a plastic bag.
The whole process takes about three minutes. Which is likely faster than they could serve you an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's. At at ¥4 ($0.65) for a bing, or a whole ¥5 ($0.81) if you add potatoes, it's also cheaper than an Egg McMuffin.
I can happily eat half for breakfast and the second half for lunch. It's one of the ten things I love most about living in China. It's really that good.
And now it sounds as if there is a jian bing food cart in Portland. I haven't tried it yet, but if it's half as good and ten times as expensive as the lady on Wulumuqi Road, then you're in luck.
http://pdx.eater.com/2015/4/24/8493539/food-cart-reviews-bing-mi-portland-jian-bing
Happy eating.
Hangover not required.